Happy Mother's Day 2014

Happy Mother's Day!

So....

This morning I felt someone starring at me and when I opened my eyes my 9 year old, Alex, was in my face looking at me.  After she apologized for startling me she said, "It's Mother's Day." And then she ran out of the room to get her gifts bringing back her sister.

Half asleep I looked down at my gifts and read the first one from Ariana.

E-SPA-cially for Mom

They were spa coupons for various things.  

Breakfast in bed.  
Back rubs. 
Having a cold drink delivered to me.  
And the best one...30 minutes of quiet.

One of the cutest things I've seen in a while.  

Next I got a poem with a hand print from Alex, which made me smile.  Along with various notes and letters that show how much they appreciate me.  

After a week of secrets, which for one I'm proud of them for keeping, I got the best gifts a mom could get.  A whole bunch of love.

To make things even better I got up to make them chocolate chip pancakes.  Two pancakes in, Alex asked if she could make them for me.  So I just wandered off while she made me breakfast.  

As the day went by I decided that since I wanted to be lazy and not go to the park, which is what they wanted to do, that I would do something just as fun.  So I went upstairs to find a movie.  I found what I wanted and then set out to make a fort.  I grabbed the dinning room tables and several blankets and made my masterpiece.  

Once the girls saw the set-up they forgot out the park completely and we had the best night.  

I hope all of you had a wonderful Mother's Day as well.  You never get enough credit so live it up today.

-TheOnlineStalker

Bullying - What's Your School's Policy?

Does your child's school have a policy on bullying?  And if so do you know what it is?

I ask these two very important questions because my child is on the receiving end of bullying.  Two weeks ago it was brought to my attention by my daughter that she was being picked on by two little boys in her class.  She is in the first grade and both students are in her classroom.  My daughter is mild mannered in nature and doesn't like to get anyone in trouble, but in turn she felt as if her telling would get her in trouble as well.

The only reason we found out was because after school I told her to change out of her school uniform and she hesitated.  When I asked her why, she said that she had bruises.  I lifted her shirt and sure enough she had scratches and bruises on her back and shoulder.  Once I got her to calm down she told me that there were two boys who had been bothering her at school.  And when she told them she didn't want to play anymore they drug her by the legs across a graveled playground.

So as any concerned parent would do, I went to her school.  As I walked to the front desk to explain the situation, the women at the front desk told me that I would have to talk to the Guidance Counselor.  After being given directions I took my daughter to bring the matter up.  It felt as if I was giving a police report.

She asked the children's names, class room, and about the incident in question.  My daughter told her what she had told me and we were informed that it would be brought up to the principal.

"What's the policy for bullying?" I asked.

To which I got the response, "There is no tolerance for bullying."

I asked what was the policy for teachers when a child mentioned such a thing and was told that the teacher should have mentioned it to the front office.  This was never done.

And then today as I was getting ready for work my mom came home after taking my daughter to school for me.  Her first words were, "You need to go to the school and talk to them.  Alex told one of the boys head butt her."

And so once again I made the trek back to my daughter's school.  This time I spoke to the principal and explained what had been told to me.  And once again I asked, "What's the policy for bullying in the school?"

And once again I was told that they had a no tolerance policy.

Hours passed as the day went by and I decided to pick my daughter up from school.  I normally don't since I'm at work when she gets out, but I of course felt that this was too important for me to have my mom pick her up.

As I walked to my daughter's class, I was asked by the Assistant Principal to talk along with my daughter's teacher.  There they asked my daughter to explain what she had told them.  The headbutting incident may or may not have been an accident.  But the dragging across the playground had happened and there was no denying that.

Apparently what had happened was that my daughter did in fact tell a teacher.  One of the recess ones they have monitoring the playground.  The boy in question was given a consequence which was being put on the wall.  According to the teacher she felt that was adequate punishment and did not inform any of the other teachers or the front office.

When asked how many times she had told the teacher my daughter replied, "3 or more times."

And still no one was told of these incidents.  So again I asked, "What is the policy for bullying?"

And again I was given the generic answer of there was a no tolerance policy for bullying.

In all the time that I have asked, I have not yet been told what that policy is.  They have mentioned talking to the boy and calling his parents now.  So I asked and what about notifying the parents that this is going on.  What is your policy on this.  To which she asked, "So no one from the school notified you?"

The answer to that is no.  This Sunday was Mother's Day and my daughter pretended to be sick so she didn't have to go to school this week.  No child should ever have to be afraid to attend school.  And if anyone knew my daughter they would see how unlike her it is.  She would rather go to school with the flu than miss a day.

And so parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles--I ask what is the policy for bullying at your child's school.

Don't let the ones who proclaim to make this a safe environment for your most precious gift stonewall you on the issue.

I can firmly tell you that my child will not be attending this school next year.  And for any parents who may stumble upon this issue make sure your answers are satisfactory and not just smoke and mirror to satisfy you temporarily.

Stop Bullying now...before it's too late.

-TheOnlineStalker

Happy Mother's Day Daddy/ Mommy What's that Word Mean?

Not exactly the titles you were expecting to see today right? 

Last year on Mother's Day my Daughters gave me a ceramic picture that was drawn in class.  This mornings gift was just as special.

At 7:30--a full hour more of sleep than usual I must add--my kids woke me up to say Happy Mother's Day.  And then they told me to close my eyes.

When I was finally told it was okay to open them I couldn't help but smile as I saw two teddy bears holding a heart that said "I Love You Mom"

I smiled the biggest smile ever because they had put all this effort into getting me a gift even after I told them that I didn't really need one.  At seven and five it was important for them to know that they apprecieated me.

And then my youngest daughter looked at me and said, "Can we call Dadddy and tell him Happy Mother's Day?"

With a request like that how could I refuse right?  And so I called their dad which went to voicemail.  This is the exact message that was left:

"Hi.  I want--what did I say?  Oh yeah.  Happy Mother's Day Daddy!  Call us back so we can tell you Happy Mother's Day."

Can't make stuff like this up if I tried lol.

Fast forward 5 hours

My youngest daughter went to church with my mom.  Me and my oldest daughter stayed home due to her being a little under the weather.  So I decided we could watch Glee.

Yes.  I love Glee.

We're on season 1 at the moment and we got to the episode where Kurt wants to sing Defying Gravity from the play Wicked.  But of course Mr. Shue won't let him which causes Kurt's father to go the school and raise some hell.

But what I forgot was in the episode an anonymous man calls Kurt's dad at his shop and says, "Your sons a "f*g"

And we all know that word isn't fig. 

As soon as the words left the television my seven year old turns to me and says, "Mom...what's that word mean?"

So I paused the show and had to explain to her that not all boys like girls and that many people say that word to be mean and hurtful to people who aren't like them.  Which led to me explaining that some boys like boys and some girls like girls.  And want to marry them.

"How do they get married?"

"Um...In some states they can get married just like Mommy and Daddy did."

"That's wrong," she says.

"No no.  It's different.  There's nothing wrong with it.  You can't help who you love.  Just like Mommy and Daddy can't help that they love each other.  Never say something is wrong because you don't understand it."

"Okay.  So boys and boys can get married.  Weird."

She doesn't really understand it, but I stressed that you can't help who you love and it's never wrong.  People just don't always understand it.  And as a daughter of a Black mom and a White dad, she'll have some people who don't understand that, but time changes lots of things.

And so that was my Mother's Day. 

Dad got a shout out and my daughter learned that boys don't always want to marry girls.

All in all a really great day.

Happy Mother's Day everyone from your friendly onlinestalker.

Happy Mother's Day

Last Thursday, I walked into my home and was immediately greeted with my two daughters. The sound of their voices rang in my ears and all I could do was smile. Their excitement almost contagious in the way that they were genuinely happy to see me. I walked away from them to place my keys in their rightful place, because well lets face it...I'd lose them otherwise.


My oldest daughter Alex walked behind me and when I turned around the first thing out of her mouth was "Close you eyes mommy, I've got a surprise for you."


I laughed a little and asked here where this surprise was, but I only got asked to close my eyes again. So I did. Her little hand grabbed mine and led me towards her. "Follow the sound of my voice."


In the past it has been known that sometimes she gets a little excited and doesn't watch where I'm going. And so as added protection, I placed my hand out to make sure I wouldn't run into any objects. At least a minute passed when she had me turn into what I imagined was her room.


"Stay right there."


The sound of her rummaging through the desk in her room peaked my interest, but true to my word I kept my eyes closed. Seconds later she told me to open then and when I looked down at her she was holding a white paper bag with a colorful rainbow colored on he side. A yellow ribbon tied in a knot was placed on top to hold the contents out of view.


With a smile she handed me the bag and watched as I tried to open it. Whatever the contents, they were heavy. As I finally got the bow open, I looked at her and the adoration that shone in her eyes. And again I couldn't help but wish that some of that could rub off on me.


A short tug later and the bag was open. Pulling out the contents, I almost cried. Inside had been a ceramic square. On it was colored the most beautiful picture of myself and her playing under these vibrant blue clouds. The words Happy Mother's Day written below them.


She had made me a Mother's Day gift while in school and couldn't wait to give it to me. I hugged her and thanked her for the gift before she ran off to let her little sister know that I'd liked it.

*********
I'm writing this for all the mom's who work long hours only to come home and clean and cook and care for your children be it with someone or alone.


I'm writing this for all the mom's who are doctors to their children when they fall and scrape their knees.


I'm writing this for all the mom's who stay up late at night because the shadows in their children's room looks like they just might eat them.


But most of all, I'm writing this story for the mom's who have looked at their children and thought, even with the late nights and long hours. With the disciplining them for deciding that your white wall was a canvas. And especially when they are sick and at their most vulnerable...


I'd do it again in a heartbeat!


Happy Mother's Day to you all!